can I say something, dont ever say that your standards are too high! it only means that you respect yourself enough to have those standards. there are millions .... correction billions, of people out there. the time will come, you will meet again. i think that you are doing the right thing by getting out, its too small and predictable for the likes of you..... an amazing place in the short term but there are bigger things waiting for you out there. its amazing how much you learn about yourself, your capabilities, your weaknesses when you travel. you are exposed to so many situations, forced to question all your beliefs....... you really have to take a step back and look at the way you life your life and the person you are. anyways, im off, i have to go feed my hamsters (fucking dickheads told me i was buying 2 girls, well i now have 13 fucking hamsters!) and if i keep writting any longer ill be able to publish this as my first autobiography

my brother is such a shit, i am sooo frustrated with him. he is still into the drugs, despite the fact that he doesnt even enjoy it anymore and knows that the situation is fucked and despite the fact that he was busted (in addition to most of his friends) so parents know he does bud. i dont know what happened, but i notice our age difference more and more now, we are still really close but im just noticing things more and more. his attitude is terrible... seriously he is such a typical boy! and he wants to go back, he is having a fucking awesome time up here but as soon as he talks to one of his friends, he wants to go back. he feels like he is missing out..... it really pisses me off that he thinks like that. he is still so young and i know (based on his attitude) that he is going to do drugs when he goes back. he may be over it but he isnt strong enough to actually make the changes in his life so he can stop. i hope that after 2 months up here, he will change.